Missing My Ex

Missing my ex is one of the worse things that I could ever feel in my life. It's definitely not something that everyone wanna feel about. People broke up for some reasons and so am I. Me and my ex had a very weird situation when we broke up. I can say that we broke up one sidedly, which means that the relationship ended because only one of us who ended the relationship but the other person doesn't even wanna end it or doesn't even know that the relationship has ended.

Long story short, my ex girlfriend ghosted me for 3 months. At first I thought that she just needed some space because at that time she was dealing with some difficult situations in her personal life and of those are depression and anxiety. Before she ghosted me for 3 months, she had ghosted me for a week previously but then she came back and told me what happened. After that, we talked again like how we usually did but it didn't last for long. She ghosted me again but I thought that it'll only last for a week just like the last time. But after waiting for so long and texted her several times with no answers, the ghosting went on for too long. 

I had a feeling that the relationship actually already ended by her on the first whole month of her ghosting me. Of course, it ended without me even knowing. Then, on the third month of the ghosting period, I decided to try to ask her where this relationship is going, but still no answer. So, I decided to break up and give the closure from my side.

It's been two months since the break up and now I miss her so much. I tried to contact her just to make sure she's ok, but again no response as usual. I told her that I'll be here for her if anything. But as a friend of course.

It's killing me on how every night I keep thinking about her. In fact, I would've not written this blog post if I hadn't missed her. I miss her so much now. I miss her pretty face, I miss how care she was towards me, I miss how she's willing to take care of me when I was sick. I miss everything about her despite the ghosting. I thought that I could've done something different to make her stay but a friend of mine told me that there's nothing to change. If she couldn't accept just the way I am to make her stay, then she's not worth my time